After having a difficult week, I felt called to pull out my drum this morning and literally create some new, good vibrations. As the years have gone by, I've found myself more and more drawn to tapping into the power of vibration and sound. I make up melodies and sing them over and over, using the repetition to calm myself down or enter states of meditation, and I use a drum to help me get out of thinking mode and into my intuition.
While doing some serious drum work today, I started thinking of a specific crystal I own. I bought several stunningly beautiful crystals in the summer of 2014 – which was also, interestingly, the first time I started drumming – and used them to keep me spiritually afloat. That was one of the roughest summers of my life. I was already experiencing deep conflict with a few close family members in June of that year, and leaning heavily on my ex for emotional support. We went for a few hikes that year, always on a river trail, and I’d bring my crystals with us and cleanse them in the water. I felt I needed to do this quite often because I was pouring so much of my pain and inner turmoil into the crystals.
Little did I know, at the time, that my ex was falling in love with a co-worker and that the stage was set for his exit from my life, or that a friend was about to betray me, thus ending that relationship, as well. When it all went down, I continued to use my crystals to try to clear my energy, and it was very helpful at the time. But a year later, when I went to move those crystals into my new house, it felt like bringing a big cloud of nasty, negative energy into the room.
After a lot of thought, I decided to put the crystals into a box and leave them there until I could figure out how to cleanse them. My go-to method, river cleansing, was definitely not an option, because it reminded me too much of those 2014 summer hikes with the person who was about to leave me. Earth cleansing didn’t feel right, either, because that was another method I had used that summer, at our home. I was at the point where anything that reminded me of the ex was bringing in energy that I didn’t want to bring in. (Though I’m confident that someday, I’ll be able to employ those methods once again. Time does heals, after all.)
So in the box they sat.
This morning, as I was drumming, I heard one of the crystals calling to me. The one that I had taken on every hike and probably dumped the most pain into – a beautiful, doubled-headed little being with tiny peaks coming off its sides. I got up and looked in the box where I had packed the crystals – but it was not there. I finally found, after a few minutes of searching, in a box I hadn’t remembered putting it into.
I felt that it was telling me to put it on the drum while I played and let it be cleansed by the vibrations. I did this for some time, and then began singing. I suddenly found myself singing the theme song to my podcast, which surprised me. (But again, that’s an example of repetitive melodies that come to me that I feel called to sing over and over.) Then I sang a few words that came to me about clearing the pain from the stone, and then “goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…”
It took a long time to feel that whatever was happening was complete for the moment. I still feel that there is more work to be done. But for now, the crystal has asked to sit on my drum and breathe.
As I write this, there’s such a feeling of relief, knowing that clearing has occurred and more is on its way. I’m so ready to release that time in my life and move on.