I know I've been awfully inconsistent with blog posting, lately. I've been working fervently on my next book - putting it to bed, really. It's my last project based on the principles of Soulful Skincare. I love it, and I'm proud of it, but I started writing that book 3 years ago, and, as tends to happen, now that it's done, I'm so ready to move on to the next project.
But of course, it's not that easy. The book is about energetic cleansing. I have always had a keen interest in the energetic body, and a knack for sensing other people's energetic patterns.
I believe that our life's purpose can be wrapped up in one sentence: We're here to learn to manage our energy. Period. You can phrase that any way you want. For instance, we're here to learn to be more peaceful. We're here to express our true selves. We're here to achieve our greatest dreams. Ultimately, all of that stuff comes down to managing our energy.
It sounds like a fun, easy package that we can just open, and there it is. A perfectly managed and maintained energetic system. But of course, it doesn't happen like that. People pretend it happens like that - like there's an end to the need to manage our energy - but that's a myth. How many of us truly plan to become enlightened by a certain age? (And yes, "enlightenment" is another way of saying that we have learned to control our energy.) I think most of us realistically understand that we'll be working on enlightenment until the day we die.
So, having written this book on managing our energy in order to remove the blocks that make us feel unattractive and unworthy, it's also, not surprisingly, brought up a lot of stuff in my energetic system that I've been struggling with for many years. I don't tend to like to look at my energetic system, because honestly, it scares me to see my leaks. When I see those leaks in others (we ALL have leaks), it's just another imbalance, as far as I perceive it - even the massive leaks (and I've seen some Niagara-sized leaks in my time). But in my own system, it sometimes feels like looking down after being in a knife fight and realizing that I'm bleeding out. It scares me, because I know the damage energy leaks do to our souls, and with the deeper leaks, I don't know always know how to fix them. (Obviously, right? Or I would've fixed them before they got so damn big.)
But I've taken the completion of this book as a spiritual challenge to dive right into those energetic hemorrhages There have been some monsters - I won't lie. It's been terrifying, at times. But I keep reminding myself that I believe in the process. I believe in this, and I believe dawn will come.
In the meantime, this process has sufficiently eaten up much of my energy and focus, to the point where I haven't wanted to blog, podcast, or send out emails. And even when I try, like right now, there's something that feels stiff, like trying to run after being laid up with a broken ankle for a few months. Or maybe like being confined in a cocoon that's in the process of falling off.
In any case, I'm still here, deeply processing. NOT promoting this book that's going to be released next month. I'll get to that, on some level, but right now, there are more important things to do.