These past few weeks - maybe even months - I have run head-first into conflict at every turn. If there's even a possibility of conflict, it happens. It blows up. It escalates.
I have begun to think it's the eclipse. Right? Surely, it must be something in the air. Everyone in conflict. Looking for a fight. Defending themselves. Lashing out.
Why all of a sudden? Why now? Or is it always so and I just don't realize it?
I started feeling like I was a random cog in this chaotic whirlwind. Some of my edges are sharp. I feel like I blow into other people, knocking into them, rolling over them, hitting against them. Sometimes my sharp edges hit them. Sometimes theirs hit me.
It feels random and unnecessary and painful.
And it keeps going. Now I wonder if this is just the consequence of interaction. So many different people, so many different ways of living, speaking, breathing, being.
We are all alpha wolves about something. Maybe we are destined to butt heads again and again. Maybe the sharpening of our teeth and claws is part of our journey. Maybe getting territorial is part of the process.
I accept this so easily in literature. In fact, the second book of the Raedwolfe Trilogy that I'm working on now is all about the cyclical nature of conflict and how we can connect so deeply with others only to hit the wall again and again and again.
What is the purpose of it? I don't know. Practicing strength? Power? Or learning to let go? Compromise?
I don't know.