Summer is always a time when I feel drawn to do a little reflecting on the things I planned way back in January. My birthday is also in the summer, which makes it a doubly reflective period of time.
This particular time of reflection has been slow and rough. I was going through major transitions in January and I built extensive lists and vision journals for myself, outlining the habits I wanted to encourage in 2015 and all the things I hoped to achieve.
And then in February, I got a new job. It was a lot more mentally and emotionally challenging that I had imagined it would be. Then I lost my dog at the end of April. And I got a new roommate the month after that.
Things have been changing so fast, I often feel (sometimes physically) like I have whiplash. I’m still spending most of my time at work, and when I have free time, it’s all given to family, writing and occasional workouts. In fact, in all the madness, I had forgotten about my lists, my vision boards and journals. And once I stumbled upon them a few weeks ago, it was a bittersweet moment. Those visions, hopes and dreams don’t reflect my life, anymore. And they haven’t for months. Those visions I created evaporated very quickly in the rapid changes taking place in my life.
It never would have occurred to me, 8 months ago, when my life first turned upside-down, that it would become more and more unrecognizable to me, rather than less. But there’s where things stand now.
It’s time to go through those vision boards and journals and all the lists and charts and start with the first simple (but sometimes painful) step: Dropping whatever doesn’t work anymore, and whatever isn’t happening, despite my best efforts.
Guidance can’t come if there’s no space for it.
It’s always hard to let go of anything from the past – even just dreams that I grasped at a few months ago. But it’s exciting to think about what’s waiting in the wings…