Having lost Former Boyfriend and my precious canine companion in such a short period of time has put a huge spotlight on part of my energy system that feels like it’s pouring out into the ground: Mother energy. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew my spirit had a strong Mother archetype. I loved taking care of everyone.
I always thought I would have children, but it never quite happened – and not for a lack of trying on my part. Things just never seemed to work out, as far as male partnerships went and suddenly, 40 appeared on the horizon… But I poured my Mother energy into Former Boyfriend and my baby boy (my dog), and it was such a joy to me.
However, I never felt like my Mother energy was good enough to be recognized as “real” in this world because I was "only" a teacher, "only" a mentor, "only" an auntie, "only" a doggie mama. I still can’t believe we live in a society in which judgment, criticism and comparison between mothers-and-mothers and mothers-and-non-mothers is still so prevalent. I can’t visit Facebook without seeing at least one status update describing what someone thinks is “true” motherhood. And now that Mother’s Day is just around the corner, I’ll do what I always do on that special day – avoid Facebook at all cost.
Yet as I realize this day is coming and I feel so much grief pouring from my “inner Mother," as I endure the loss of my precious dog, I’m not interested in participating in this stupid debate about what real motherhood is. (And feeling like I’m not “real” enough because I don’t have a child of my own is participating.) I’m done getting upset about people arguing about whether or not non-mothers contribute to society, about whether or not women who have C-sections or epidurals are “doing the right thing,” about whether or not aunts/teachers/mentors/pet mommies are worthy of appreciation or recognition for the mothering that they do.
The truth is, motherhood is infinite. It isn’t just a role and there sure as hell isn’t some magical list of criteria to meet in order to acknowledge yourself as a mother figure. Motherhood, like fatherhood, is an energy of creation and nurturing. Everyone has this energy within them, even if it’s just a speck, even if they have trouble expressing it.
We are finally living in a time when people are starting to acknowledge that our human system of labels and identities are so limiting, they don’t tend to give a true reflection of the soul. Gender identification is finally becoming all the shades of gray that it really is – not just male or female. Romantic partnership can reflect love between all different kinds of people.
It’s time to open our eyes to the spectrum of motherhood, as well. Marriage isn’t an exclusive club only for heterosexual couples. Our genders should not dictate our fashion choices, personal expression or behavior. Likewise, motherhood is an expansive, infinite, beautiful energy that should be celebrated in all its abundant forms – not relegated only to those who have babies born from their own bodies.
We receive Mother energy from this beautiful earth that sustains us. We receive Mother energy from our pets and other furry friends. We receive Mother energy from aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, friends and even male friends and relatives. I can say with certainty that as much as I miss mothering my sweet pup, he – even as a male, as a pet, as my baby – mothered me as much as I mothered him.
There is no one Mother, no true definition of a Mother that leaves out millions of other beings who share as much Mother energy with this world as those who have actually given birth. It’s a cyclical, infinite energy in which we all take part. And opening the doors to recognizing all the different forms of Mother in this world will never diminish the power, beauty or strength of those who have actually given birth - it only makes us all more powerful, more beautiful, stronger.
So Happy Mother’s Day to us all. To this Earth who has been the ultimate mother to each and every living being on this planet. To all of you, whether you have children or not. And to my sweet little fox, who gave me the opportunity to express my Mother energy so deeply and completely and who gave me so much of his own Mother love.
We are all so blessed to live in this world so nurturing, so kind, so infinite in its love.