As I write this, I’ve been contemplating many changes in my life – small (making appointments to get things done that need to be done) and large (too large to share here). But always, I wait, thinking the moment will come. I wait, thinking I’m being virtuous and patient. I wait, hoping for the Red Sea to part before I ask it to.
But if I were to be totally honest with myself, I’m not waiting, so much as making excuses. All these things are inconveniences. Even getting a damn haircut. (Yes, I’d rather just come home and write or knit. Who wants to be bothered with all this grooming nonsense?) I’d rather “wait” then deal with the inconvenience.
And in the end, that becomes: I’d rather endure some unhappiness than the discomfort of these inconveniences.
But then I remember how those seemingly innocuous attempts to avoid inconvenience can turn into some seriously miserable holding patterns. Holding patterns that can last years – even decades.
Is that what I want, in this short, short life? Or do I want to be inconvenienced for the chance to step it up a bit?
What about you?